There are so many things people tell you about motherhood.

The sleepless nights.
The first steps.
The school years.
The teenage years.
The empty nest.

But there's another part of motherhood we don't always talk about:

How much motherhood changes our relationships.

Your relationship with your spouse or partner can change. Your friendships can change. Your relationship with your children changes as they grow. And somewhere along the way, you may realize that your relationship with yourself has changed, too.

After more than 30 years of motherhood, raising six children and experiencing so many different seasons of family life, I've learned that relationships don't always stay the same.

Motherhood can change your relationships because your priorities, responsibilities, identity, and availability change. As your children grow and your own life evolves, the way you connect with the people you love may need to evolve, too.

When your children are little, so much of family life revolves around meeting their needs.

Schedules.

School.

Activities.

Meals.

Bedtime.

Appointments.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that, relationships can begin to look different without you even realizing it.

Then the children grow.

The schedule changes.

Your responsibilities change.

And eventually, you may look around and think:

“When did everything become so different?”

I've been there.

And I'm learning that different doesn't automatically mean something is wrong.

Sometimes it simply means we're in a new season.

Motherhood can affect marriage and partnerships by changing how couples spend their time, communicate, divide responsibilities, and connect with one another.

Think about the early days of a relationship.

Maybe there were spontaneous dinners, long conversations, date nights, and plenty of time to simply enjoy each other.

Then children come along.

Suddenly, life can become a little more complicated.

There are lunches to pack.

Homework to check.

Practices to get to.

Bills to pay.

Someone needs a ride.

Someone needs help.

Someone needs something.

And sometimes, without meaning to, two people who love each other can become more like a really good management team.

That doesn't necessarily mean the love is gone.

It may mean the relationship needs attention in a new way.

And as the children grow, the relationship may have another opportunity to change again.

Maybe the question isn't:

“How do we get back to the way things used to be?”

Maybe it's:

“Who are we becoming now?”

That's a very different question.

Friendships often change after becoming a mom because time, priorities, responsibilities, and availability change. Some friendships become stronger, while others become less frequent or evolve into something different.

There may have been a time when you could call a friend and say, “Let's go grab lunch.”

Now you might need three weeks and a shared calendar to make it happen.

And sometimes, friendships simply drift.

You may not have had an argument.

Nobody did anything terrible.

Life just happened.

I've learned that we don't always have to view every changing friendship as a failure.

Some friendships walk with us for decades.

Some are especially important during one particular season.

And sometimes people grow in different directions.

That can be difficult.

But it doesn't erase what the friendship meant.

Not every relationship has to stay the same to have been meaningful.

Your relationship with your children changes as they grow because the kind of support they need from you changes. Parenting gradually moves from hands-on care toward guidance, communication, encouragement, and giving them room to become independent.

When your children are small, they need you for almost everything.

You choose their clothes.

You make their meals.

You kiss the boo-boos.🤣(Quote from the movie “The Minions)

You solve the problems.

You remind them where their shoes are—usually while they're standing right beside them.

Then they grow.

They develop opinions.

They want independence.

They begin making more of their own decisions.

And eventually, they become adults.

That's a completely different kind of motherhood.

I've learned that being a mom doesn't end when your children grow up.

The way you mother them changes.

Sometimes you step in.

Sometimes you step back.

Sometimes you offer advice.

And sometimes you learn that they didn't ask for advice.

I'm still learning that one. 🤣🤣

Because having more than 30 years of motherhood experience doesn't mean I've reached some magical point where I have everything figured out.

Every season brings something new.

And the world my children are navigating isn't exactly the world I grew up in—or even the world in which I raised them.

So yes, even as a Rooted Mom, I'm still learning. 🌿

Motherhood can change your relationship with yourself because so much of your identity can become connected to caring for other people. Over time, you may need to rediscover your interests, priorities, dreams, and sense of identity outside of your role as Mom.

For years, you may hear:

“Mom!”

And you answer.

Again.

And again.

And again.

You become the person everyone depends on.

Mom.

Wife.

Homeschool mom.

Cook.

Driver.

Teacher.

Caretaker.

Problem solver.

Schedule keeper.

The person who somehow knows where everything is.

And then the season changes.

The children become more independent.

The house becomes quieter.

Your responsibilities shift.

And you may find yourself asking a question that you haven't had much time to consider:

“Who am I now?”

That's not a question to be afraid of.

It's an invitation to become curious about yourself again.

If this sounds familiar, you may also enjoy our conversation about Who You Are Outside of Being Mom.

You don't have to go backward to find the woman you were before motherhood.

You can grow forward into the woman you're becoming.

Yes, it is normal for relationships to change during motherhood. Different stages of motherhood bring different responsibilities, priorities, emotions, and needs, so relationships naturally evolve along with them.

That doesn't mean every change should simply be accepted.

Some relationships may need a conversation.

Some may need a boundary.

Some may need more attention.

Some may need forgiveness.

And some may need to be released.

The important thing is to pause long enough to notice what's happening.

Instead of automatically thinking:

“Something is wrong.”

Try asking:

“What's different about this season?”

That small shift in perspective can change the conversation.

Moms can navigate changing relationships by acknowledging the changes, communicating honestly, giving relationships room to evolve, and paying attention to what each relationship needs in the current season.

You don't have to fix every relationship at once.

Start with one.

Think about someone you love.

Ask yourself:

Sometimes the answer will be simple.

Call them.

Make the plans.

Have the conversation.

Listen.

Sometimes the answer will be harder.

And that's okay, too.

Growth isn't always comfortable.

Maybe one of the biggest lessons of motherhood is learning that we don't have to recreate the past.

Your marriage doesn't have to look exactly like it did before children.

Your friendships don't have to look exactly like they did before motherhood.

Your relationship with your children doesn't have to look like it did when they were eight.

And you don't have to be the woman you were before you became Mom.

You can build something new.

Something that fits the season you're actually living in.

That's what growing looks like.

Think about one relationship in your life that has changed.

Maybe it's your marriage.

Maybe it's a friendship.

Maybe it's your relationship with one of your children.

Maybe it's your relationship with yourself.

Instead of asking:

“Why isn't this like it used to be?”

Ask:

“What does this relationship need from me now?”

You don't need to have the perfect answer.

You just need to be willing to notice.

Because sometimes noticing is where growth begins.

After more than 30 years of motherhood, I've lived through quite a few versions of myself.

There was the young mom.

The mom with little ones.

The homeschooling mom.

The mom navigating teenagers.

And now, the Rooted Mom.

Each season has taught me something.

And each season has changed the way I see motherhood.

But here's what I know for sure:

I'm still learning.

I don't want P.S. Love, Mom to be a place where I pretend to have all the answers.

I want it to be a place where we can talk honestly about motherhood.

Where I can share something I've learned.

Where another mom can share something she's learned.

Where we can encourage each other.

Because a Seedling Mom may see something I haven't experienced.

A Blooming Mom may have a perspective that changes mine.

And another Rooted Mom may remind me that I'm not the only one figuring out what comes next.

That's what growing together means to me.

We don't have to be in the same season to learn from one another.

We just have to be willing to listen.

If something feels different in your life right now, don't automatically assume something is wrong.

Maybe you're simply growing.

Maybe the people you love are growing.

Maybe the relationship itself is growing into something new.

Give yourself permission to meet this season where it is.

Not where it used to be.

Not where you think it should be.

Right where you are.

We're all becoming someone new in every season.

And I'm learning right alongside you.

Growing with you through every season of motherhood.

P.S. Love, Mom 💜

Yes. Motherhood often changes relationships because your priorities, responsibilities, availability, and identity change. As your family moves through different stages, relationships naturally have opportunities to evolve.

Friendships may change because motherhood can affect your time, energy, priorities, and availability. Some friendships become stronger, while others may become less frequent or develop into a different kind of friendship.

Motherhood can change marriage by adding new responsibilities and changing how couples spend their time and communicate. As children grow, couples may also need to rediscover how to connect in their new season.

The relationship often moves from hands-on caregiving toward guidance, communication, encouragement, and independence. You remain their mom, but what they need from you can change significantly.

Start by becoming curious about who you are now. Think about what interests you, what matters to you, what you've put aside, and what you would like to make room for in this season. You don't have to return to who you were before motherhood—you can discover who you're becoming now!